Thursday, January 14, 2016

First off I'm sorry for the length of this post. Secondly any grammatical or spelling errors won't be fixed as I wrote this in between sleeping and taking care of a sick child and it was very stream of consciousness type stuff. I like to think of it as authentic.  

Here goes. 

On Sunday my second daughter turns 13. This means I officially have two teenagers.  When they say time flys they aren't kidding. 

While I'm excited for all of my kids birthdays, when this one approaches I also dread it a bit because of mixed feelings.  My nana passed away 2 days before Abby was born. Actually on my ex husbands birthday. ( he's turning 40 today so happy birthday ken)

As with all of my pregnancies I had high blood pressure with Abby. And was in hospital 3 days before she was born for bed rest and induction. On the evening of January 14,2003 I remember laying in the hospital room I was in listening to all the babies cry and so badly wanting my baby. Bed rest made me restless and Ken couldn't stay as we had Madison at home. I remember calling random people. My mom, ken and then my Nana. She told me she has finished knitting kens sweater and all the booties. And I think told me she had made soup. It's been so long and my memory of that time is really fuzzy but it sounds like she would have made me soup lol 

The next day ( kens birthday ) I got up restless again and called everyone to come visit me. Didn't everyone know it was about me ? They tried to induce me but it didn't work and I was bored out of my tree. Ken said he would be there eventually. I finally got a hold of my dad who said he would visit in the afternoon. I remember him coming with magazines and just sitting there. Quiet. In the corner we didn't chat much but I liked the company. My dads quiet anyways and didn't really pay attention. Ken was not all with it. Kinda all over the place. I remember being pissy that no one else was calling or paying attention like mom and sister. What I didn't realize was that Nana never woke up that morning.  She passed away peacefully in her sleep.  And my family was all going through hell and the doctors didn't want them to tell me because of my blood pressure. 

Next day goes by and induction still didn't work and they decide with the doctor to come and tell me. 

So picture me, 23 years old laying in a hospital bed. In walks ken, my mom , dad and my sister. They've all been crying and they say to me "we have to tell you Something " I immediately think something happened to my oldest daughter Madison and lose my shit. They assure me it's not and break the news.  I don't remember much after that. I think they had to sedate me. 

All I could think about was having the baby and getting home. So this time the Induction worked and the next day I had Abigail.  I should back up and say this whole pregnancy I was convinced I was having a boy. Everyone was. And I didn't want one at all but everyone said boy. And when the doctor said its a girl I cried and thanked Nana for the gift. I had convinced myself she had a hand in that. Literally minutes after she was born ken called my mom who was with my entire family. And without even talking to me first said its a girl. Her name is Abigail Patricia. Patricia for Nana. In sure there were a lot of tears on the other end of the phone. 

I made the doctors sign us out 12 hours later so I could make it home for the wake. I left the hospital directly and went right to my grandparents home and handed my less than 24 hour old baby around from family member to family member. 

My nana was fantastic. She was the best cook. The best baker. The best sewer. The best knitter. The best crotcheter. She was the head of our family even thought grandpa thought he was. She always had olives. and pickles. She took us to Florida. She met me downtown Toronto when i was on a school trip and had lunch with me at licks. I got her nose. I hate it. But now I Love that I have a part of her.When she found out I was pregnant at 19 she didn't scrolled me. Instead she bought me my crip set and knitted a bunch of shit. She used to sing bipity bopity bo. She made us all creepy clowns for our bedrooms. Thank goodness she got out of the phase and went onto bears and bunnys. She used to toot while walking up the stairs. Lol She was the greatest. And I miss her everyday. 13 years ago the world became a bit less magical. 


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  1. Aw, I love this. Made me think of my Grams'. Great post.

  2. What a great Nana you had. Always supportive and you have such great memories.

  3. aww hun, you are lucky to have such a wonderful nana looking over you and your family. I hope the memories bring you comfort xo

    Confessions of a Frumpy Mommy


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