Nick & Nicole Plus 4: 26 weeks of hangry

My fit-a-versary

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Optifast Week 11

Thursday, June 23, 2016

Well, I’ve made it 10 weeks (11 classes) on the program and 9 weeks on shakes. 3 more to go!! I feel proud, less fat, more rested, more energetic and slightly (barley) less stressed.

After my weeks of hell, things have settled down a bit and knock on wood things have been fairly drama free.

I still feel like I have zero time in my life, I’m not sure if that will change since I have 4 kids, but if you’re a blog reader of mine you’ll have noticed I’ve only been blogging once a week. Something had to give, and well that was it for a while.

I will probably link up to Shaunacey’s grateful post next Monday because I really need to get my head in the game gratitude wise.

I also need to clean my house, do some laundry, play with my kids and edit some weddings. AHHHHHHHHH

Scale victory up to this week: 51.6lbs. – Finally broke that 50lb mark.

Non Scale Victories: Blood pressure is down. I can work out now without dying. I’m starting to follow Kat less and less on 21 day fix. I tried on some dresses I couldn’t even get on before and they fit. All of my before pants/shorts fall off. I’m sleeping WAYYYY better. I have less headaches, skin has cleared up and I think that’s it.

Some days I feel awesome and think, wow I can really notice it. Some days I feel super fat and flabby and think, I’ve lost 50 effing pounds, why am I still so fat.

Umm, cause you have a lot of weight to lose Nicole. Duh. It will come off slowly but surely.

Some days I dream about eating my way through a land of mashed potatoes and gravy.

Other days I want to wear a bathing suit without being embarrassed about my upper thighs and tummy.

This week in class we learned about our food transition that is coming up in 3 weeks. And what our plates will look like, I’m not going to get into that right now because well, I don’t want to talk about food anymore (damn you mashed potatoes) but when we start food I’ll post what I’m eating, and our portion sizes and mix of food. The biggest thing I learned was not to be afraid of carbs. We all had it in our head that carbs are the devil, but it’s a very balanced meal plan and it includes carbs.

And that’s really all there is. Oh, except I hit that goal of 50, so that means new clothing, but I really don’t like that one and I want a fit bit, so I think I’ll get that instead.

Some people have asked what my work outs are so I figured I would post my schedule (it changes sometimes but this is average)

Monday – 21 day fix total Body Cardio or Turbo Fire Low HIIT 20

Tuesday – 21 day fix upper body

Wednesday – Zumba

Thursday – 21 day fix lower body

Friday – Cize or 21 day fix cardio fix

Saturday – Sometimes Zumba (depends if I have a wedding or not and how early it is) OR 21 day fix Dirty 30

Sunday – 21 day fix yoga, or a cardio if I’m up for it.

Everything is around 30 minutes long, except Zumba which is about an hour. Because I’m only on 900 cal a day this is all I can handle like physically. I’m busy. I have 2 basically full time jobs. 4 kids. I drive to the city every Tuesday for class. I have a house to take care of (though I have help) and man I should probably pay attention too. And I make time for 30 minutes every day. Yesterday my family was watching something on tv and I didn’t want to take it over, so I put my 21 day fix upper body on my app on my phone and did the entire thing in my kitchen. I used to be the queen of excuses, but have none now!

Okay I think that's all I wanted to say this week.
Peace.
N.

26 weeks of hangry

Optifast week 10

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

26 weeks of hangry

Optifast program - week 8.

Thursday, June 02, 2016

26 weeks of hangry

Week 7 - Optifast Weightloss Program

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

It's almost the end of the week. Thank goodness!!

So, on Tuesday I finished up my 6th week of my Medical Optifast Program, (5th full week on shakes only) and had my 7th class.

If you are new here, and want to know about this program and what I've been up to, then check out these posts HERE.

Before I summarize this past week, I'll just say that Wednesday was a crapola day. Work was crazyness, I'm stressed and literally have every second of my evenings each night this week planned, photos to edit, and work outs to get in and my house is a disaster, and then my car died. Like just wouldn't start. It would make a noise, and then nadda. And I wanted to punch someone, and then have a beer. With a side of chicken wings. And chips. With popcorn, and icecream, and some wine.

Not even close to kidding.

I complained all the way home, stressed (leaving my car at the daycare and walking my ass home) and then complained more. Thank god for Nick who fixed said car. Seriously, he's pretty handy.

Anyways, after all of that I went for a run/walk to cool off and it worked better than food. GO FIGURE. I feel great now, and not guilty or bloaty or in food coma. So yay for non scale victory.

Other non-scale victories this week:

I did all 21 day fix videos last week. that's right, 7 in a row folks.
I don't need to take crazy high selfies any more to remove chin, most of it's gone
I zipped up a pair of jeans I couldn't even get over my bum 4 weeks ago (Still can't wear in public because the the muffin top is just ridiculous - but they zip)
I made it through the first wedding of the season (on shakes) and didn't cheat!! Also, first long weekend of the summer and didn't cheat. one more to go on shakes.

Scale victory this week:

30 pounds down!!!

yes, that means I get a purse, though I did blow that budget on car parts last night (DAMN YOU CAR) I'll be able to get a purse in the next week or so LOL.

I was also not going to show a progress pic until I was done my shakes, but I don't think these pants will fit me this much longer. I may have one ore two more weeks in them. By the end of the day I can't keep them up.

disclaimer - the before is terrible. Also so is the lighting, also, my bathroom is a mess.EEK -here it goes.

Please don't judge me!! LOL

Okay that's it for this week, peace out. Here's to 7 more weeks on shakes and hopefully lots more scale and non-scale victories!

26 weeks of hangry

Week 5

Thursday, May 12, 2016

If you’re new here welcome. To catch up read these posts. This one here explains what Optifast is which is my most asked question, and also my journey thus far.

Okay so I’ve been on the program 1 month now. Yay for milestones! In 4 weeks I’ve lost 22.5 lbs. I’m getting measured on Friday so I’ll make sure to list my inches next week.

So that's another goal to cross off. Heck yes. Closer to that iPhone people!!

Some things that happened over the last week:

· I’ve realized that Monday – Friday are the easiest days for me to stay on track. I like routine, and keeping busy. Last weekend was my Birthday and Mother’s Day and I didn't work all weekend. It was not good. Probably one of the hardest weekends I’ve ever had in my life. There were some positives (which I blogged here) but mostly I was in my own head the entire weekend feeling sorry for myself about why I couldn't eat.

· I have more energy. So while I had temper tantrums all weekend, I also put away 3904803 loads of laundry and reorganized my closet. I also switched around the cupboards in my kitchen and cleaned my pantry. And scrubbed floors on my hands and knees with a toothbrush. I feel like every few days I will tackle a new room. SO MUCH ENERGY.

· I tried Zumba last Saturday. I failed miserably at the steps, but kept moving the entire hour. I sweat like a mofo, but felt great the rest of the day.

· In class we learned about Triggers and Cues, and boy was it eye opening. It sounds like basic stuff but when you really pay attention to the emotional relationship you have with food it’s crazy. Just even listing what emotion you have while eating certain foods makes you more aware of why you are eating it. And also the nostalgia associated with foods, or habits created from childhood. How our parents would make us finish the entire plate of food and if we did we were rewarded with – MORE FOOD! Desert. Or Chips at night or camping. We also talked about how our hormones tell us real hunger etc, but how they can be sometimes triggered to make us think we’re hungry when we’re not. I like science I've decided. I want to learn all the things.

· I joined a beach body challenge group this month (started Monday) and I really like the app and how it’s keeping me accountable. I like the support from other women and a 30 minute workout is easy enough to do each day. I do have to switch mine up (so I only do weights every other day, and cardio in between) but the 21 day fix is something I can manage. I’m excited to see what my changes will be after the 21 days. I like small goals.

· Talking about support from women, this brings up a something that I've been thinking more and more about. I'm finding it hard to articulate but I'm going to give it a go :

Last night on my drive home from Toronto I called my sister so we could chat (I have blue tooth people so calm down, it was hands free). So to give you a bit of background, I'm the overweight sister. Have been my entire adult life. My sister on the other hand has been the smaller one. She’s had her own struggles, and for her own privacy I won’t post her weight but she’s been up (for her) and down too, but mostly on the smaller side.

So, she’s telling me a story about how people have mentioned her getting too skinny. And in the past when she was really really skinny I've even said that to her (in hindsight out of jealousy). One person even told her she looked anorexic. She replied but just saying ‘that’s really not nice’ and moved on with her day but it stuck in her head. Of course the people who mentioned these things to her were not happy with their current weight and were trying to lose, but had to tell her she looked too skinny. She’s a healthy BMI, completely fit and trying to gain muscle. She’s happy with her eating habits, has her chip addiction under control. But now she was being shamed for being too skinny. So to me this seems like we can’t win. I’m judged for being overweight. I can tell when people look at me, I’m also always trying to be funny to over compensate for my looks (Like if I'm funny you'll be friends with me and keep me around, otherwise why hang out with the fat girl??) I’m always watching people’s eyes when I’m talking to them in a group of people. They are constantly looking at me up and down. And then when you are actually at your goal weight, you’re too skinny and look sick. I’m guilty of saying shit too (read this post) but I’m really trying to be aware of it, and know that when I make a comment like that It’s coming from self-hate, and jealousy. And that’s not okay. I no sooner get off the phone with my sister and there is a post about Chrissy Tiegen getting online hated because of her mother’s day brunch making photo. Are you kidding? I mean I wish I had her body never mind just after having a baby. But c’mon, can’t people just be nice. Her body is her job people. That poor woman can’t do anything right, people just keep hating on her. (side note, once I’m back on food, I need her cookbook, it’s totes healthy right?!?)

Anyways, that’s just my rant of the day. I have 9 more weeks of full shakes people. And then transition time. And maybe then I won't be such a rambling cranky lady.

Sigh. I miss cheese.

26 weeks of hangry

Week 4

Thursday, May 05, 2016

Welcome - If you're new to my little weight loss journey - view other posts here

Before I get into how much I've lost let's talk about how much harder this week was. Wow. I was all cocky last week "this is so easy blah blah" basically I saw pizza everywhere I went. My god I want pizza. I was cranky, hungry and just miserable. And then I realized I skipped fibre for 2 days. Once I started again I felt back to normal. So lesson learned.

So to date I've lost 16lbs. I was hoping to be at 17 but I'll take it. I need to stop putting stupid pressure on myself. I'll get better I promise. But I'm really glad I don't own a scale because I would get obsessive. Checking once a week is healthy.

Anyways some notes on this week :

I'm only losing weight in my face and waist

I'm sore daily from my work outs. They are pretty hard to get through but I get better each time I do one. I'm still on 21 day fix ( just videos not food) but my girl Kat is who I follow. Yay for modification.

Also. Since I met my first goal last week I was supposed to get Kylie Jenner lipstick. Except it's sold out always. So I said eff it and went to sephora. Got myself a new Kat Von D. It's pretty great.

And if you are really bored for you let reading pleasure are a few diary entries from this past week :

Friday. Today I had The afternoon off and it made me want to eat everything in the house. I find I do much better when I'm busy. when I'm sitting I just want to eat all the carbs even when I was out shopping all I saw was chips at dollarma. And I wanted them so bad. Instead I fill myself up on water tea and shakes. Lord help me I have 10 more weeks of this.

Saturday. I had two photoshoots and decided to do leg day from 21 day fix. I almost vomited. I had sweat all over. I made excuse after excuse during the 30 min. It was awful. But I'll say one thing for autumn. The chessy crap she says works. If I only focus at the one 60 second exercise then it's easier. Don't think ahead. I guess that's the same with pounds. I read somewhere on my Instagram stalking that someone lost 1lb - 116 times. And that's so true. One lb at a time. 1 minute a time. On a related note I may never get out of the bath.

Tuesday. It's our "Georgian week" at work and they have a staff BBQ every year. It's not the greatest but free food is free food. So the sound of chicken on a bun and pasta salad sounds like heaven. And I'm missing out. And I know I want to be thinner more than 5 minutes of eating that good but omg just thinking about it is making my tummy hungry. I hate this.

26 weeks of hangry

Week 3

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

26 weeks of hangry

If I offended you I'm sorry.

Friday, April 22, 2016

26 weeks of hangry

Week 2

Thursday, April 21, 2016

Sooo….black coffee sucks. Man oh man, I wanted spit that coffee back out. And all I kept thinking was “push through, you can do this. You’re a hard core coffee drinker, don’t disappoint”. I drank it, and hated it. A friend told it will take about a week to get used to. So I’m really looking forward to next week.

By 11am the first day on shakes I started to feel a bit lightheaded. Not sure if it’s all in my head, but that’s how I felt. I got an apple cinnamon tea at Tim Hortons and it seemed to help.

So to re-cap this week’s meeting:

1. I was down 1.9lbs this week, for a total of 4.9 lbs.

2. I was less anxious about group sharing

3. I had a beyonce dance party in my car on the drive down. I’ve completely choregographed a dance to Run the world (girls). I fully intend on performing it to you all once I get down to what ever goal weight the doctors tell me I need to be at. #hopeyouarereadyforthisjelly

4. I’m overwhelmed by the ‘recipes’ of things I can add to my shakes to make them not so boring. I think for now I’ll stick with just shakes until bordom really sets in, because I don’t need any more anxiety.

5. I’m really worried about what I might say or do to close family or friends the next week or so while I’m detoxing.

6. I totally crushed a big mac as my last meal, and have zero regrets

7. I’ve taken soo many before photos, so I cannot wait to get to my ‘during’ photos once I start seeing changes.

I went to David’s Tea today to get something flavourful to pass these hunger cravings. It’s hard to find a tea there that’s yummy and zero calories, but I managed. I got the spice is right, and Cinnamon Rooibos. But then had to get a ball steeper thing and of course the just right spoon. There goes $40. I’m all set for work now though! But while at the mall, I so badly wanted to hit the food court. I didn’t obviously but I kept thinking to myself no Nicole, there are things I want more, then 5 minutes of stuffing my face, so I figured I’d list them here:

Things I want more than food:

- To be able to buy something from Victoria Secret. That isn’t a hand cream.

- To wear a pretty bra

- A waist

- To not have people ask me how many months I am (this is my fave)

- To not have to ask for a seatbelt extender while flying

- To not have skinny bitches look me up and down

- To be confident and not embarrassed while posting blog photos of myself

- To have sex with the lights on. (TMI? I don’t care)

- To be able to cross my legs.

So next time I walk through the mall and smell that stupid popcorn, or see the NY fries, I will say to myself, I want things more than I want that food. And then, I will drink some water. Or my very expensive Davids Tea.

26 weeks of hangry

26 weeks of hangry - Week 1

Thursday, April 14, 2016

If you're new to following my journey - start at this post and then this post.

I've officially begun my medically supervised weight loss program! It started earlier this week, and I’m trying to digest (no pun intended) everything from the first meeting. While I sat in the waiting room (first to get there of course, I hate being late) I wrote the following on my phone:

I've been so excited and waiting for this program to start I didn't really think to much about what the classes would involve. As people started to come into the waiting room it dawned on me. "This is a group thing. ". Shit. I hope I don't have to hold hands and sing. I'm starting to panic I can literally hear my heart pounding. Man I hope I don't have to talk about my feelings in a group setting. The warm fuzzy feeling I just felt for losing 3 lbs already has left. Now I'm in full blown anxiety attack. I really need to get over myself. I've instantly started to see if I'm the biggest or smallest person in the room. Who the hell do I think I am judging other people. Also. The TV in the waiting room just told me that Miley Cyrus and Liam were spotted at a party yesterday, so there's that. I guess all is well in the world. People have started talking in the waiting room and making friends I'm off to the side on my own. So the introvert.

The meeting went extremely well, and it was a great intro. I don't think I was fully ready for the emotional aspect of it all. Because we were sharing our struggles and goals, and even though we're all different ages, etc we had the same problems. And while driving down the 401 in rush hour traffic on my way home, I cried so hard I hyperventilated. It could have been the 22 dollar parking fee I just paid, but probably not. I got it out of my system and now I'm ready to get down to it!

Next week I start the OptiFast portion of the program on Wednesday. I’m excited, but equally terrified. I'm trying to fit in all of my ‘going out’ into this week, as if I’m set to be on bed rest or something for the remainder of the summer. I'm doing Canvas and Cabernet tonight, Movies tomorrow, date night with Nick on the weekend.Possibly another girls night Monday. Sheesh for someone who hates people, I sure have a lot of friends.

One of the things I want to tackle in my adventures of losing weight is food based reward systems. I've said this before, but everything for me relates back to food. Good day? Okay, we should celebrate with Red Lobster. Bad day? Chips & Dip in bed. Stressful day? Eat all the things ALL DAY LONG. I also associate kids in bed and watching tv with yummy snacks. As my ‘shake day’ gets closer and closer, I’m really noticing how much I love to snack once kids are in bed. I’m not even hungry! It’s worse when I’m watching a TV Show and they are eating. Note to self don’t try and lose weight while watching Gilmore Girls. WONT HAPPEN. So I’ve decided my show of choice while on shakes, will be LOST. They don’t eat. No food on that island. Ha! I win Netflix.

Any who, while at work I was talking about getting the new iPhone and realized I should work for it. I should work for anything I ‘treat’ myself too. So my new reward system, instead of food will be as follows.

10lbs lost – Kylie Lipstick (thanks to Deena’s Instagram post, I need this Matte lipstick in my life).

20lbs lost – IT cosmetics CC cream, and a NARS blush

30lbs lost – New Purse – Kate spade? I need ideas.

40lbs lost – New iPhone SE, in pink of course.

50lbs lost – Small capsule of clothing - I'll need ideas also.

60lbs lost – Trip to the Scandinave Spa - WHOS WITH ME?!?!

I will re-evaluate my goals after 60lbs down. I’m sure I’m going to get flack for focusing on pounds instead of ‘how good I feel’ or non-scale victories, and while it’s true to an extent I guess, the first 60lbs need to come off end of story. I need to lose at LEAST 60lbs, medically. For like staying alive and things. After that I may change my reward system to percentage of body fat lost, or inches lost or maybe I’ll stay with pounds. Or 1 week of staying on track. Things like that. But for now, 60lbs down is realistic, and manageable and I like prizes. I want a fucking gold star for my progress. And to me, that gold star will come as a Kardashian lipstick.

Sorry for swearing, but sometimes there aren't enough words.

Next week will be interesting, I’ll try and keep the swearing to Instagram (Yes, I’ve created yet again another Instagram account. This one is @26weeksofhangry). Follow me there as I’ll post daily updates of how hangry I am, venting, and other random things.

Peace out,
n.

26 weeks of hangry

Day 1

Thursday, March 10, 2016

I had no idea what to title this post. I had mentioned on Tuesday that I was going to start documenting my weight loss journey here.

So here goes:

I had my first round of appointments yesterday in Toronto.

First I got to meet with nurse ( who was super nice ) and go over my health history and weight history. My blood pressure isn't the greatest so that's something but other than that everthing was great.

Next up kinesiologist She weighed me did my measurements, body fat and waist to hip ratio. Also told me my BMI. All very humbling, to say the least.

Next we talked goals. So I figured I would list them here:

stay healthy and be around for my kids
get more energy to play with said kids
be able to walk to 3rd floor of my office building with out panting like a dog. Seriously it's a problem lol
buy clothing at a non plus size store.
get off blood pressure meds.

I have no plans on being 125 pounds. I don't even care what my weight is. I would just like my BMI lower and to not use an extender seatbelt when flying. Simple things yall.

So what is the program I'm doing ? Basically it spans 2 years. It's medically supervised by doctors, nurses, social workers, nutritionists and kinesiologists. For 26 weeks I will attend weekly sessions at the hospital. It's about an hours drive but I'm okay with that because it's dance party time in my car. Weeks 2-13 I'll be doing shakes only which have all the nutrients I will need. And then once I wean back onto food they teach us healthy habits. This is the basic version there is way more too it for me to possibly list here.

Here's the thing. know what I'm supposed to eat. I know how to work out. This is basic stuff I already know. However my emotional eating habits are what I need to fix so they do cognitive behavioural therapy, I don't only stress eat I use food to celebrate, for fun times and out of habit. It's bad. So I'll give it all I've got and see how it goes. This program offers lots of benefits including cognitive behavioral therapy which I think is important to note because I could have had all the surgery I wanted but that wont fix my head. I need to fix the why first.

Anyhow - long boring post I realize, but I need to start somewhere. I'll be posting weekly starting April 12th once my program begins, until then I'll be trying to quit coffee and wine. Lord help me.

My fit-a-versary

Optifast Week 11

Optifast week 10

Optifast program - week 8.

Week 7 - Optifast Weightloss Program

Week 5

Week 4

Week 3

If I offended you I'm sorry.

Week 2

26 weeks of hangry - Week 1

Day 1

About me

Follow us

Style Challenge

Bloglovin'

Labels

recent posts

Blog Archive

#whatnevwears

Popular Posts

Like us on Facebook

Flickr Images