Week 5

Thursday, May 12, 2016

If you’re new here welcome. To catch up read these posts. This one here explains what Optifast is which is my most asked question, and also my journey thus far. 

Okay so I’ve been on the program 1 month now. Yay for milestones! In 4 weeks I’ve lost 22.5 lbs. I’m getting measured on Friday so I’ll make sure to list my inches next week.

So that's another goal to cross off. Heck yes. Closer to that iPhone people!!

Some things that happened over the last week:

·         I’ve realized that Monday – Friday are the easiest days for me to stay on track. I like routine, and keeping busy. Last weekend was my Birthday and Mother’s Day and I didn't work all weekend. It was not good. Probably one of the hardest weekends I’ve ever had in my life. There were some positives (which I blogged here) but mostly I was in my own head the entire weekend feeling sorry for myself about why I couldn't eat.

·         I have more energy. So while I had temper tantrums all weekend, I also put away 3904803 loads of laundry and reorganized my closet. I also switched around the cupboards in my kitchen and cleaned my pantry. And scrubbed floors on my hands and knees with a toothbrush. I feel like every few days I will tackle a new room. SO MUCH ENERGY.

·         I tried Zumba last Saturday. I failed miserably at the steps, but kept moving the entire hour. I sweat like a mofo, but felt great the rest of the day.

·         In class we learned about Triggers and Cues, and boy was it eye opening. It sounds like basic stuff but when you really pay attention to the emotional relationship you have with food it’s crazy. Just even listing what emotion you have while eating certain foods makes you more aware of why you are eating it. And also the nostalgia associated with foods, or habits created from childhood. How our parents would make us finish the entire plate of food and if we did we were rewarded with – MORE FOOD! Desert. Or Chips at night or camping.  We also talked about how our hormones tell us real hunger etc, but how they can be sometimes triggered to make us think we’re hungry when we’re not. I like science I've decided. I want to learn all the things.

·         I joined a beach body challenge group this month (started Monday) and I really like the app and how it’s keeping me accountable. I like the support from other women and a 30 minute workout is easy enough to do each day. I do have to switch mine up (so I only do weights every other day, and cardio in between) but the 21 day fix is something I can manage. I’m excited to see what my changes will be after the 21 days. I like small goals.

·         Talking about support from women, this brings up a something that I've been thinking more and more about. I'm finding it hard to articulate but I'm going to give it a go :

Last night on my drive home from Toronto I called my sister so we could chat (I have blue tooth people so calm down, it was hands free). So to give you a bit of background, I'm the overweight sister. Have been my entire adult life.  My sister on the other hand has been the smaller one. She’s had her own struggles, and for her own privacy I won’t post her weight but she’s been up (for her) and down too, but mostly on the smaller side.

So, she’s telling me a story about how people have mentioned her getting too skinny. And in the past when she was really really skinny I've even said that to her (in hindsight out of jealousy). One person even told her she looked anorexic. She replied but just saying ‘that’s really not nice’ and moved on with her day but it stuck in her head. Of course the people who mentioned these things to her were not happy with their current weight and were trying to lose, but had to tell her she looked too skinny. She’s a healthy BMI, completely fit and trying to gain muscle. She’s happy with her eating habits, has her chip addiction under control. But now she was being shamed for being too skinny. So to me this seems like we can’t win. I’m judged for being overweight. I can tell when people look at me, I’m also always trying to be funny to over compensate for my looks (Like if I'm funny you'll be friends with me and keep me around, otherwise why hang out with the fat girl??)   I’m always watching people’s eyes when I’m talking to them in a group of people. They are constantly looking at me up and down. And then when you are actually at your goal weight, you’re too skinny and look sick. I’m guilty of saying shit too (read this post) but I’m really trying to be aware of it, and know that when I make a comment like that It’s coming from self-hate, and jealousy. And that’s not okay. I no sooner get off the phone with my sister and there is a post about Chrissy Tiegen getting online hated because of her mother’s day brunch making photo. Are you kidding? I mean I wish I had her body never mind just after having a baby. But c’mon, can’t people just be nice. Her body is her job people. That poor woman can’t do anything right, people just keep hating on her. (side note, once I’m back on food, I need her cookbook, it’s totes healthy right?!?)

Anyways, that’s just my rant of the day. I have 9 more weeks of full shakes people. And then transition time. And maybe then I won't be such a rambling cranky lady.

Sigh. I miss cheese.

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  1. Cheering for you way over here!

  2. I can relate to this post 100%. I lost 70 pounds in my early 20s and people can be mean. Also, people try to sabotage you by offering you food that you are trying not to eat or putting you on the spot in a crowd. What you are doing is admirable. Keep up the good work.

  3. Yes people can be so mean when you're losing weight and I think you're right, it's out of jealously of whatever is going on with them. At least you recognize your triggers and can work past it...they say that a habit is formed in 6 weeks, and that those 6 weeks are the hardest...so only 2 more weeks...you got this!

  4. You are awesome! Over twenty pounds in a month?! And how great that you are actually feeling it and have more energy!

  5. Okay, so first, I'm SO proud of you.
    Second, I think it's so true, most people have such an unhealthy relationship with food, it's crazy but acknowledging that is the first step to making changes. I'm sure i could benefit from this myself.
    As for comments, it seems people always feel the right to comment on people's weight. I have had people comment when I have both gained and lost weight and it can be so damaging some times. I think you're right, often when people put a negative spin on it, it's likely because they're dealing with their own issues.
    Anyways, loved this post and yes,your weightloss is amazing but what's more awesome is your transformation. You are killing it.

  6. I don't know why women are so hard on each other when it comes to weight, looks...well, everything. You are awesome and so inspiring - I love your honesty and dedication. Big support from me!

  7. I think I have never had a lot of close girl friends IRL for this very reason. Girls/women can really mess with your mind. And so much of their negativity or criticism stems from jealousy. I am glad you and your sister have each other for support. We all have our struggles, what a better world it would be if everyone was just a little kinder. BTW,I think you deserve the original lipstick you wanted that is always sold out, whenever you can get it, as a bonus! You are doing so well.


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