... I haven't blogged in 20 days.

Though honestly, while hestitantly typing in the URL for my blog, I was cringing a bit thinking it was mid-September since my last post.

I've completely avoided this site. I have blogged on the miller ellis site, but not even once have I come to this one. Made me ill. I kept trying to draft blogs in word, but every time I sat down to do it, my stomach hurt, and my anxiety went mental.

Before I drive head first into this post, I'd like to thank all my 'readers' for the kind notes. After one of my lasts posts saying only 3 people read my blog, I got facebook messages out the yahoo saying " I read your blog!!!" It was humbling.

So how am I you ask? well....

A lot of things have happend since Sept 9th.

- I have photographed, 62 families, 4 Pregnant women, 5 Newborns, 3 Engagements, 4 Weddings, and 2 cake smashes. Plus worked full time at the college.

- I haven't had a good night sleep.

- I have had a good hard look at my life, and where I want it to go

- I have fallen in love with Nick all over again

- I have helped my children deal with another big change in their life.

- I found out I have Carpal Tunnel (hey - could be from all that time editing and scheduling ...no?) and have to wear a stupid brace

- I have been on the worst emotional roller coaster, ever in my 30 years.

As most of you know (if you're friends with me on facebook) my father went in for surgery on Sept 9th. He had had a routine colonoscopy, and they had found 'something' on his intestine and his doc decided, lets just take it out. It shouldn't be there. To make a very very long story short, it was a Carcinoid tumour. This scared the shit out of me, pardon my french. Even though it was removed from him, the thought that cancer was in my fathers body was not a pleasant one. Of course its a very rare tumour for people to get.

So I was freaked out about that, but my dad looked pretty good coming out of surgery, that I was positive everything was going to be fine. The day after surgery he had his sense of humour back. He was great. Day after that, well, He had some shitty side affects from Surgery. Without getting into many details, he was really sick. I was on my way down to visit him when my mom called and told me he didn't want visitors, which of course I took as, he didn't want me there. I was so scared, but I stayed home. However, the next day I just showed up without asking permission. He looked terrible and I wish I hadn't seen him like that, that has to be my worst day ever (and I'm sure it was for him too. god he looked like shit).

Anyways, finally after I think 12 days in the hospital, he got to come home. We've just kept waiting and waiting for the oncologist appointment, and today finally came. No chemo, no radiation. I'm so happy for him. They will keep an eye on him of course to make sure he doesn't get another one, but it's a big relief.

So, since I had good news. I figured I'd share. I basically just rambled, big stream of consciousness post....which I'm not going back to edit for spelling or punctuation.

Thanks for listening.