My fit-a-versary

Sunday, April 23, 2017

One year. My god, I can't believe it's been a over a year.

Since I wrote THIS post.

Since I all of a sudden got some super human willpower to have the ability to get through 3 months of drinking shakes only.

Since I decided "hey, working out isn't so bad"

Since I replaced one addiction (food) for another (the gym).

In 100 years, I would never have imagined I would be where I was today. I had hoped. So many nights of going to bed thinking "when I'm skinny", or "when I'm under 200 lbs" I will be so happy, and have these pretty clothes, and everyone will love me, and life will be perfect.


Well, I do have pretty clothes. But now I'm constantly thinking about said clothes. How does my waist look, how does my ass look, can you see my saggy arm skin, do these stripes make me look fat.

WTF? Before, at 320 pounds I would put clothing on and that was it. I was fat, and I dressed my fat body in basically whatever I wanted. I didn't have to ask if I looked fat in it. What a stupid question, of course I did, I WAS 320 POUNDS! But, I looked cute in my fat clothes and didn't give a shit.

I'm way more stressed now and that is not good. The last two months I've had one hell of a time mentally. I've basically been in a plateau (completely my own fault) since December. I've gained and lost the same 10 lbs over and over. Because of binging. I keep trying different things and they work for a week and a weekend hits and something happens and I eat everything in my house. Currently right now I'm 7 days binge free, and I consider this a win. Because that's the longest in months I've gone. This will not be fixed by shakes. By beachbody, by optifast, by waist trainers, by whatever booty program you want to sell me. It will be a constant battle for the rest of my life of me trying to maintain a healthy relationship with food and not self medicating with pizza. THANK GOD my program I'm on comes with the social worker because I need her badly. And our support group  monthly.

So - part of my 'don't binge eat' and find something better to do program, I'm getting back to blogging. I'm going to join in on link ups. I'm going to start reading again and not binge watching Netflix and putting my energy into productive things and not time wasters (I  mean I'm not totally giving up TV don't be ridiculous) but just maybe less of it.

So. What kind of stuff should I blog about (you know besides weight loss/food/working out and my kids). Anything else? Who even reads this shit? Comment below :)


You Might Also Like


  1. I appreciate your honest words and thoughts. No one can tell you what to blog about. That has to come from you. Your heart. Your passion. Your interests. Your life. But whatever you choose, you'll have an audience. Welcome back :) Oh! And happy fitaversary!

  2. Happy awesomaversary! I hear you on the constant battle and how nothing that you can sell me will fix that. I need to be reminded that.

  3. I still think you're the most amazing and even though I've not experienced a huge weight loss, I can relate so much to your current struggles.
    I like reading about all of the stuff you've always written about - family, fashion, working out, weight loss... I'm also always down for photography tips lol (seriously, I have ZERO skills in this area)... what do YOU like to write about???

  4. Wow! I'm so impressed by what you've accomplished but also your honestly. The fact that the weight battle is a constant up and down and is something you ALWAYS need to be thinking about makes it really hard for a lot of people (and definitely me). I'm happy you will be back to blogging, though!


Popular Posts

Like us on Facebook

Flickr Images