hello 2018

Sunday, January 07, 2018

I had a whole entire different post ready for this 2018 blog entry. It was filled with my goals for Reno’s and tons of health related fitness activities getting my food back on track and all the things I wanted to do with the kids this summer. But mainly if I’m being honest it was me focussing on how I needed to lose the 30 some odd pounds I gained-  in a quick way. I was going to talk about 80 day obsession starting on January 15. How excited I was about Zumba starting again or rather me going back to Zumba again after last two months of me working crazy hours due to the faculty strike.

Basically just you know me getting back on track. I had the entire post written and actually forgot to post it. Why you ask? Because last week was very crazy. Because it’s my first week back to work after the holidays and just a ton of running around. Then our toilet broke on the main level and our hot water tank stopped working on top of that.  I actually joked to somebody at work that I was waiting for the third thing to happen since bad things happen in threes.

Well that third thing happened on Saturday. I just got out of the shower and finished blow drying my hair ,getting ready for a photo shoot -  first one of 2018.  I thought to myself I should probably go start my car since it’s -40 out. So I went downstairs and my slippers were sitting beside my snowboots and to save time I put on my slippers. So I went to go start my car because my remote car starter wasn’t working and I made it one step and slipped and landed and jammed all of my weight into my wrist on my left hand. It was all in slow motion --as I was going ass over teakettle I remember thinking oh this is going to suck when I’m shooting today with a sore ass and then I heard the crunch of my wrist. And adrenaline kicked in and got me back into my house sobbing like a lunatic having to call Nick to come and pick me up and also call tanya to let her know that I wouldn’t be shooting that session with her.  Long story short (actually that’s pretty long already) but it was even longer broke my wrist and I can’t do shit all. I’m not a person that can lay around all day even though I joke that it sounds like heaven. I’m a person that can’t even sit through an entire movie without getting up to clean something or do laundry or check my email or check my work email or check every actor in the movie that I’m watching on IMDb from my phone. Currently I can’t do dishes I can’t do laundry I can’t lift a pot of water I can’t undo a Ziploc bag or haven’t figured out how to yet because I’m in excruciating pain. I’m not even typing this I’m speaking into my phone and praying that it understands me.

I’ve been crying off and on since about 10 PM last night partly because of pain and partly because I scroll through my Instagram which is filled with fitness people and all of their exercises and  new year resolutions and it’s hitting me that that won’t be me for a little bit. I won’t be able to do the polar rush in February that I was super excited to do. I won’t be doing 80 day obsession,  ( fully anyways. I’m assuming I’ll be able to modify and do the lower body exercises but nothing with the plank no push-ups for me.)

I’m extremely worried about work. I have 2 upgades I’m excited about. Well if I’m being honest it’s really only one  I’m excited about - one’s kind of a pain in my ass but I still I don’t want other people to have to do my work and that is giving me major anxiety.

But there’s a silly thing that I’m thinking about right now and it kind of hit home when I was in the ER/ One nurse pointed out when I said I stupidly braced my fall with my hand, she didn’t like me saying that. Because if I hadn’t braced my fall with my hand I would’ve smacked my head on the step and then where would I be. And when she said that to me I looked at my sister and started crying because I hadn’t thought of that. I honestly hadn’t thought of much except for how I was impacting other people. About both of my jobs about who’s gonna clean my house and drive the kids here and there and how is laundry going to get done and how was I going to get skinny again. And I knew Nick was really busy at work and I didn’t want him have to take time off to deal with me these were all of the things I was thinking about instead of how much worse it could’ve been. And maybe just maybe it was a sign I need to slow down a little bit. Take stock of what is important here. Being the fittest and making sure I get all my fitness classes so no one is mad at me for missing,  for making sure I motivate and go to all my workouts in the morning making sure only eat 80 g of carbs a day doesn’t matter. My house being a mess for little bit because my kids only clean half assed doesn’t matter. And people can wait for their photos because me taking care of my hand is a little more important currently and I can always send them out to be edited so I need to just take a deep breath and slow down a bit so it’s probably good that I  have all this free time on my hands right now. But I’m going stir crazy and talking into my phone like a crazy person- So I should probably turn onto Netflix because I’m into much pain to try to balance a book currently try to figure out how to flip it comfortably.

So new goal - just breathe. take care of me, me kind to myself - I cannot control everything.

on that note  - what shows should I watch?

And also I See the surgeon tomorrow so cross your fingers for no surgery

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  1. Sending you a big Deena hug. Wish I was closer to take care of you.

  2. Wishing you a speedy recovery. I just started pretty little liars (I know, behind much!) and I've watched 8 episodes since Friday.

  3. I love this! I'm SO sorry about your wrist but flipping your attitude around is so inspiring. I love your new goal :) And if you get any recommendations for sitcoms, please pass them along to me. I need something funny to watch!

  4. Awww, so sad! That being said on Saturday, the same one you fell. I feel so hard too. Imagine a cartoon and a banana peel, falling hard on your butt and hands, yep, that was me, expect it wasn't a banana peel it was a hover board and I was doing something I knew probably wouldn't work. So now both of my hands are so bruised I couldn't use them for 2 days, Luckily they are getting better, but like you said, have to be thankful I didn't break both wrists and that I have a big cushiony butt that saved my fall, else I would have had a broken tailbone had I landed on it, luckily I shifted slightly left...okay that was probably TMI, anyway, feel better lady! Hopefully the surgery goes well and you can start your healing process!

  5. Hope your surgery went well and you'll be all healed up soon!


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