26 weeks of hangry - Week 1
Thursday, April 14, 2016
If you're new to following my journey - start at this post and then this post.
I've officially begun my medically supervised weight loss program! It started earlier this week, and I’m trying to digest (no pun intended) everything from the first meeting. While I sat in the waiting room (first to get there of course, I hate being late) I wrote the following on my phone:
I've officially begun my medically supervised weight loss program! It started earlier this week, and I’m trying to digest (no pun intended) everything from the first meeting. While I sat in the waiting room (first to get there of course, I hate being late) I wrote the following on my phone:
I've been so excited and waiting for this program to start I didn't really think to much about what the classes would involve. As people started to come into the waiting room it dawned on me. "This is a group thing. ". Shit. I hope I don't have to hold hands and sing. I'm starting to panic I can literally hear my heart pounding. Man I hope I don't have to talk about my feelings in a group setting. The warm fuzzy feeling I just felt for losing 3 lbs already has left. Now I'm in full blown anxiety attack. I really need to get over myself. I've instantly started to see if I'm the biggest or smallest person in the room. Who the hell do I think I am judging other people. Also. The TV in the waiting room just told me that Miley Cyrus and Liam were spotted at a party yesterday, so there's that. I guess all is well in the world. People have started talking in the waiting room and making friends I'm off to the side on my own. So the introvert.
The meeting went extremely well, and it was a great intro. I don't think I was fully ready for the emotional aspect of it all. Because we were sharing our struggles and goals, and even though we're all different ages, etc we had the same problems. And while driving down the 401 in rush hour traffic on my way home, I cried so hard I hyperventilated. It could have been the 22 dollar parking fee I just paid, but probably not. I got it out of my system and now I'm ready to get down to it!
Next week I start the OptiFast portion of the program on Wednesday. I’m excited, but equally terrified. I'm trying to fit in all of my ‘going out’ into this week, as if I’m set to be on bed rest or something for the remainder of the summer. I'm doing Canvas and Cabernet tonight, Movies tomorrow, date night with Nick on the weekend.Possibly another girls night Monday. Sheesh for someone who hates people, I sure have a lot of friends.
One of the things I want to tackle in my adventures of losing weight is food based reward systems. I've said this before, but everything for me relates back to food. Good day? Okay, we should celebrate with Red Lobster. Bad day? Chips & Dip in bed. Stressful day? Eat all the things ALL DAY LONG. I also associate kids in bed and watching tv with yummy snacks. As my ‘shake day’ gets closer and closer, I’m really noticing how much I love to snack once kids are in bed. I’m not even hungry! It’s worse when I’m watching a TV Show and they are eating. Note to self don’t try and lose weight while watching Gilmore Girls. WONT HAPPEN. So I’ve decided my show of choice while on shakes, will be LOST. They don’t eat. No food on that island. Ha! I win Netflix.
Any who, while at work I was talking about getting the new iPhone and realized I should work for it. I should work for anything I ‘treat’ myself too. So my new reward system, instead of food will be as follows.
10lbs lost – Kylie Lipstick (thanks to Deena’s Instagram post, I need this Matte lipstick in my life).
20lbs lost – IT cosmetics CC cream, and a NARS blush
30lbs lost – New Purse – Kate spade? I need ideas.
40lbs lost – New iPhone SE, in pink of course.
50lbs lost – Small capsule of clothing - I'll need ideas also.
60lbs lost – Trip to the Scandinave Spa - WHOS WITH ME?!?!
I will re-evaluate my goals after 60lbs down. I’m sure I’m going to get flack for focusing on pounds instead of ‘how good I feel’ or non-scale victories, and while it’s true to an extent I guess, the first 60lbs need to come off end of story. I need to lose at LEAST 60lbs, medically. For like staying alive and things. After that I may change my reward system to percentage of body fat lost, or inches lost or maybe I’ll stay with pounds. Or 1 week of staying on track. Things like that. But for now, 60lbs down is realistic, and manageable and I like prizes. I want a fucking gold star for my progress. And to me, that gold star will come as a Kardashian lipstick.
Sorry for swearing, but sometimes there aren't enough words.
Next week will be interesting, I’ll try and keep the swearing to Instagram (Yes, I’ve created yet again another Instagram account. This one is @26weeksofhangry). Follow me there as I’ll post daily updates of how hangry I am, venting, and other random things.
Peace out,
n.
Peace out,
n.
