As most of you know, I didn't win. Actually didn't come close. Angela lost a whopping 36lbs!!! She won, and I'm so, so, so happy for her.

I'm thrilled for all the ladies actually. We all tried our hardest (except for me the second last week) and we all lost a ton of inches. Which is fab.

I only lost 20lbs, but I did lose 22inches, which I still can't believe. It's made me really think about actual pounds more and more. Like I've said before, I really wanted to be down 75lbs for my Birthday. I'm now thinking in terms of inches, and clothing size. I'd like to be down at least another 22 inches by my birthday. That's another 2 feet off my body.

I can tell I'm gaining muscle. The amount I can press in my legs is disgusting, I can compete with boys. My upper body is getting stronger. I had no upper body strength what-so-ever when I started this contest. I can now do chin ups on that machine I hate so much, and pull ups on that bar that rips my hand to shreds.

Now here is the scary part. We're on our own. No more training appointments. I don't 'have' to be at the gym. There is no accountability. I have to go for myself. Which I know I have to do. Just will I do it? Several times over the 8 weeks, after a day of sick kids, or driving in CRAPPY weather, or a shitty day at work, I thought to myself "just go home and have a glass of wine and go to bed - screw the gym". But I didn't. I went. And for the most part felt better for doing so.

But will I continue to do that? Once the novelty has worn off? God I hope so.

I'm trying to start Weight Watchers at work so I can weigh-in somewhere weekly. I have to continue doing this. Weighing in a home is totally different. I can fib the numbers. (and I would).

But until Weigh Watchers starts, a group of us my office have started a club where we'll meet on Friday mornings and weigh-in. I'm excited about this. Motivation within the office:)

I wanted to thank all of my friends and family who cheered me on, and for all their kind words today on my facebook status. It's what keeps me motivated. I'm so lucky.

Big shout out to Becca for being a huge supporter.

To Jessie, Sue, Shelby and Susan at work. Thank you for decorating my desk today and for my 'treats'. Love you guys.

Thank you to Nyrton. I love to hate you. I will haunt you in death.

To my daughters who motivate me, so I can keep up with them and for saying 'stick with it, you'll be pretty soon!'

To Nick for picking up the slack. And smacking my ass even though it's sore (jerk)

To Tanya for watching my kids at night with little to know notice "I have to get to the gym and Nicks not home yet:S!!!"

And to my Mommy and Daddy. Just because.

Love ya'll.
xo

I've avoided blogging all week. Partly because it was a busy week, partly because I felt like crap, and partly because, well, I didn't want to admit that it was a shitty week and I felt like not doing the stupid contest anymore.

So I didn't write. Or take pictures. I kinda had a mini week of depression. I sulked, I didn't go to the gym when I wanted to. I snacked on crap food that I thought would make me feel better.

Turned out I was wrong.

I gained one pound this week at weigh-in. When all of the other lovely ladies lost...and lost big.

I'm not beating myself up about it. It's not like I gained all the weight back. It literally took me one day to get back on track. Once you get back into the grove of going to the gym twice a day, it's fine. Miss one day, and boom.....you have to motivate yourself all over again to go.

This is the last week of the contest. I'm gonna kick some butt this week. I've gone to the gym twice a day since Friday (that's only two days but whatever) and I'm sore all hell. But it's going to be a good week:)

.......................................

Yesterday we wanted to do something fun with the kids, and I heard on the radio that Innisfil was having their winter fest. I figured, great, this is it!!

WRONG

It's funny, as we're driving 5 kids down the 8th line of Innisfil, I thought to myself, I kinda like Alcona. It's small, but has everything you need, and I'd love to live here. I have friends here it could be fun.

Then I got to the "big" winterfest and I thought these things all at once:

*Barrie kicks ass, hell no to Alcona
* I don't think I'm redneck enough to live here
*My kids fit in though with their FXR jackets.....omg, does everyone snowmobile??!
*I don't think I even know what half of these activities are.
*OMG they are selling "midway" tickets from some dudes car?? Omg he doesn't have teeth.
*well the heck is this midway? oh wait, the 2 rides here. Great
*I'm a snob

Yes, I actually thought I was a snob. I am I guess. Small towns are fine to me. I grew up in Bradford, so I probably have no right to insult the fine people of Alcona. And like I said I love a lot of people there (Julie, Cindy, Melissa if you read this) But that Winterfest was sad. Perhaps the summer thing they do is better.

And perhaps I'm just a bit bitter cause my pics turned out like crap.


Nevaeh not impressed ....Probably thinking "eww my dad's from here"



Mimi could care less. She sees a jumpy castle.


Way too sunny for good pics. No shade :(



The one ride I let them on. It made scary noises, and I was scared for their life. And yes, we bought tickets from some dude in his car. It felt like a drug deal.


Note the FXR jackets.



This would have been a nice shot if I wasn't stupid and didn't leave my Aperature wide open, so poor Recca's face is out of focus.


Happy we're leaving.

I'll try and do better today photowise, but we'll see. I have to get to the gym. Twice.

xo

I ask myself this often. We've spent stupid amounts of money over the years on toys, with all the kids, Nevaeh being no exception. Except she's THE WORST for not playing with her toys. Instead, she likes random house hold objects, as seen below...



Portable phones. Her fave. She constantly walks around with one. We've tried to give her our old ones that don't work. Nope. She knows, she has to have the real deal.


Once she starts eating them we take them away.....and we get this...



Temper tantrums. Yes. Already.....



But then I distract her with some random noise like 'BAHHHHAHAHAHA' and she laughs and forgives me ......and then thinks 'oh look it's daddy's PS3 controller'




So I try and distract her with an actual toy...


And then she finds her stupid Iggle Piggle....I hate my mother for buying her this toy..



It scares me. It even scares my flash - it stopped working momentarily...





Then I beg and plead for her to stop playing with this annoying/creepy doll....


and she steals my BlackBerry. Bloody Child.

I just finished writing my post, when Abby casually mentions to me, that she needs to call her daddy's house because M (daddy's new wife) is supposed to be coming to her school to talk about her job for parents day. I said oh okay, her's the phone. When really I wanted to say "what the hell are you talking about parents day? Why aren't I talking at your parents day? I'm your Mother. You know the one that gave you life. The one who went through 9 months of carrying you in my womb. The one you should WANT talking at parents day"

But I didn't say that. It's not Abby's fault. I'm not sure who's fault it is. Frankly I don't care. It still hurts. It's frustrating. And it makes me want comfort food. Something with lots of carbs. Rice, Mashed potatoes, soup, chocolate, ice cream.

But I'm not eating those things. I'm going to eat my chicken and veggies, and drown my sorrows with a Perrier. And then, I will get myself ready for Lost.

And here was my original post

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tonight is lost night. I’m chomping at the bit to get ready for it!! Even though once I leave work I’ll be going to home to feed kids, get Mady ready for Guides, go to the gym and THEN it will be lost time.

I’ll be making petits fours while watching lost. I am woman – I can multi-task.

So my questions going into “what Kate does”

• Will Claire give birth to Aaron this episode or wait? We all know that Kate will be there when she does (as she did on island) but how long will it take to get there. Will Claire leave Aaron with Kate a la Island time too?

• Will we see Claire in the non alt-universe? Will she show up on the island. The previews have her pointing a gun at someone. But who? Is she still creepy Claire from Jacobs cabin with Christian?
  

• Speaking of Christian – I need more back story on this man.

The biggest thing for me right now is who the hell is the eyeliner wearing, non-aging man Richard, really? He’s obviously as old as Jacob and Smoke monster/bad locke dude. So who’s evil? Some say Richard. I think no. I think it’s Smokey. But then who the hell is Richard? Everyone seems to think Jacob (possibly now Sayid) represents good (GOD), and that Bad Locke, Smoke represents evil (DEVIL), but what if, Richard is good, smokey is evil, and Jacob is GOD?

I think Richard is a huge part of the show, which is odd, because he came in as a guest for season 3. So if the lost writers did infact know the ending way back in season 1, then my theory is shot to hell.

Today Tanya and I hosted our Valentines Day mini-sessions. They went really well, so I figured I'd get some of my kids as well. Of course I upload that card first as it's in my camera already. Then I go to upload the rest and my camera dies. So it's charging so I can get the rest of the pics off and edit edit edit.

But here's a peek from my kids. Tanya and I will be posting the other pics on our M.E Blog throughout the week, so keep a look out for some cute freaking kids (and some hottie families)

Nicks first ever lasagna







Yes, today is my cheat day.

Yes, I will be at the gym twice tomorrow.

I’m obsessed.

It’s the only way to describe it. I was literally counting down to last night’s episode of Lost. The beginning of the end of the best show ever. This show consumes me, and will be big topic of conversation on my blog until the Series Finale this spring/summer. Then I’m sure I’ll obsess over it some more, because knowing the writers/creators, it’s going to go out with a bang.

I cannot express the pure joy I felt last night sitting on my couch, wrapped up in my blanket, with my gross, gluten free tortilla chips, and organic salsa (ya, I live it up), when at 8pm I watched the Lost: Recap. It made me want to watch from season one all over again.

Some of the reasons (not all) of why I love this show:

- This show excites me. Makes me think.
- The writing is clever
- I love the easter eggs, the hidden clues, the way the writers fuck with us.
- Those bloody numbers that mean nothing (or do they?!)
- Sawyer
- Boone
- I love the flashbacks, the flash forwards, and even possibly the new flash-sideways?!? Alt universe maybe?
- It’s like watching mini-movie each week
- It makes me think
- The smoke monster/fake locke (he was AMAZING last night)
- Richards eyeliner. Kills me!

Typically when one watches tv, you turn your brain off, enjoy mindless whatevers, and then forget the show for the week until it comes on again next week. With lost it keeps you guessing throughout the whole show, makes you wait for next week, and makes us all try and guess what’s happening next or what the whole freaking point to the show is.

I’m hoping this last season answers most of the questions looming. I know they won’t answer them all, but here are few answers I’d like to be able to sleep at night.

- Why doesn’t Richard age?
- Jacob vs Dude in black/fake Locke – who are they really?
- What the freaking hell is the island? An experiment on good vs evil?? Something else entirely? A bad dream
- What happened to Claire?
- Is Jacks dad dead/ what’s his tie to the island?
- Ben – wtf?!?
- What are the whispers
- Does Hurley see dead people like Miles?

And after last night…

- are they alt universes or showing what ifs?
- Is Jacob in Sayid?
- What’s up with Richard/fake locke

There are so many more but my mind is on overload right now.

In case you can’t tell I LOVE lost

Should I revise my goal?

So, I’m 4 weeks into my ‘new way of life’. Or torture as some would call it. At the beginning of this thing, my goal was to lose as much as possible in the 8 weeks of the contest, but a total of 75lbs by my Birthday (May 6th).

I’m slowly starting to realize this might not happen. I’m gaining a ton of muscle, so the pounds aren’t dropping off as quickly as I’d hoped. I’m not angry about this, don’t get me wrong, I’m losing inches, so I’m totally fine with that. Yes, I’m still mildly obsessed about the scale, but maybe not as much.

So, while talking with Becca earlier today, I said I’d be happy if I lose another 15 this month to bring a total of the contest of 30lbs. This would please me.

Becca’s suggestion is to aim for 2lbs per week, so 8lbs this month. Because it’s healthy and obtainable. So that would being me to 30lbs by my Birthday, a total of 45 instead of the 75 I was hoping for.

So her and I have a side bet going now. We’re both aiming to lose 30lbs by my Birthday. Then we’ll both get dressed up at the end and go out for a fancy dinner. But let’s be honest, I’m really hoping I’ll be down 45 more lbs by my Birthday. But shhh. Don’t tell Becca.